Chamblee cop goes on The Steve Harvey Show to find a worthy man
For Chamblee police officer Lacanmaren Shinholster, a night out on patrol—potentially filled with chasing and arresting criminals—is much easier to deal with than the world of modern dating.
“My friends think I’m so hard on guys, that my expectations are too high,” Shinholster said.
Friends in this case mean Shinholster’s coworkers at the police department, whose concern for her dating life was so intense that they called in an expert on love and relationships: Steve Harvey.
“It started out as a joke—they said ‘We’re going to send you onto The Steve Harvey Show, we’re going to get Steve to find you a man because you can’t keep a man for more than 30 days,’” Shinholster said. “They say I’m always policing a man instead of stepping outside of being a cop and being a woman.”
Shinholster’s department followed through on its word, contacting NBC about appearing on Harvey’s show. NBC representatives said Shinholster’s personality “shined bright like a diamond.”
“They saw a video of me and immediately said they had to have me on the show,” Shinhoster said.
Shinholster was surprised by close friends and coworkers on the show, who grilled two eligible bachelors before one was awarded a date. She said show representatives asked her questions such as “Would you date outside your race? Size? Height? Weight?”
“One guy, he hit the nail right on the head; the other guy, I don’t know where they got him from,” Shinholster said. “They were totally opposite.”
Shinholster describes her ideal man as someone with a career, no children, no criminal history, good credit and ready to settle down. She said the criteria describes “just a decent guy” in the modern dating world.
“He needs to be approved for something more than a Kroger Plus card,” Shinholster said. “I work too hard on my credit—I’m not about to date someone with a 450 [credit score]. That was the one thing I told Steve that had him fall-down laughing. I asked for a background check and a credit check.”
Friends and family asked the two bachelors how they would deal with certain situations should they be chosen. Shinholster said her friends chose the more favorable of the two.
“They did a great job with the pick… initially,” Shinholster said. “We got through about 17 days.”
Shinholster said she went on multiple dates with the bachelor and had a great time. The pair attended soccer games, went out to eat, saw movies and spent time at each other’s houses. However, according to Shinholster, she encountered things she is not willing to compromise on.
“Where he is and where I am are just not the same place,” Shinholster said. “He had all the right physical features and a good heart, he just wasn’t there. I’m ready in the next few years to purchase a home and get ready for a family. I don’t think he’s there.”
Coworker Lela Hayes said Shinholster’s standards are too high.
“You just really have to come correct to compete with her—if she sees one thing, that’s a wrap,” Hayes said. “I noticed a guy would last 20-something, maybe 30 days. It’s always within that range. For something like that to go on, there’s something [she’s] not doing right. She’s a beautiful, smart, intelligent young lady.”
Hayes said she’s known of two second chances awarded by Shinholster, one given to her ex-husband.
Shinholster said being independent and divorced has separated her from many men from the same generation, who she said “are not ready to commit.” She said her father raised her correctly and that she appreciates gestures such as opening a door, remaining consistent while courting and being an established adult.
“You can’t train people on certain things,” Shinholster said. “If that’s what you’re not used to, or accustomed to, because you’ve never had to do it, I’m not going to pester you about it. That’s what I’m accustomed to and used to. I’m not compromising basic stuff. Most men just aren’t ready to elevate.”
Shinholster described such horror stories as a man obsessed with pink objects, a man who didn’t tell her he was expecting a child, convicted felons, arrogance and a man with no drive because his family has money.
Shinholster said she was invited back to the show due to the failure of “Fairy Godfather Steve.” She said she enjoyed the experience but will probably not make another appearance.
“I’m a cop, not a reality TV star,” Shinholster said. “If it’s meant to be, it will happen.”
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